My Brain is a Fruit

My son is a very smart boy, but sometimes he says some of the strangest things I have ever heard in my life. Believe me, I’ve heard some whoppers in my time while living in Asia, but tonight was just…. tonight was just really special for some reason. I truly wonder what goes on in his head sometimes. Now more than ever.

We’re sitting at home watching some tween show on Disney when out of the blue he makes the oddest statement to ever come out of his mouth. The conversation went something like this:

Son: “Hey Mom. Guess what I learned today in school?”
Me: “What’s that?”
Son: “My brain is a fruit.”

Long awkward pause

Me: [trying to contain my laughter] “Ummm, what makes you think that?
Son: “Some stupid girl in my class said she thinks my friend Hunter is a big fruitcake.”

Another long pause – waiting for the boy to continue

Me: “Is there more to this story ’cause….”
Son: “She’s always sayin’ how he’s got his head stuck up Johnny’s butt and that all boys are buttheads.”
Me: “And?”
Son: “Hunter is really smart.”
Me: “And?”
Son: [deadpan] “He likes cake.”
Me: “Hunter likes cake, does he?”
Son: [in an impatient voice] “No. Johnny does. Geez Mom, aren’t you following me here? It’s sooo obvious.”

I suddenly felt like I was in the Twilight Zone trying to figure out what went wrong with that conversation. I decided to leave it alone and simply walk away, hoping he’ll forget about this odd conversation he initiated.

I got as far as the next room when he suddenly blurted out, “Or maybe it’s a vegetable; like jello, y’know?”

Right when I’m beginning to seriously question the American school system, my son then says to me, “Mom, I programmed the DVR box for all your favorite shows coming on next week. I’ll be around if you need any help with that.”

He’s 8 years-old.