Airlines: Vegan or Pagan (Or Both!)

IMPORTANT: PLEASE READ

*Names of cities and/or airlines have been changed to protect… well… no one. I just like these names better.*

Making airline reservations can be so boring and tedious with all the “hold please” and automated menus you must go through to get a real human on the phone; today was no exception. I loathe talking to airlines so I thought I would try a new approach for making a reservation. It went something like this…

Airline: Let’s see, I have you scheduled for *Katmandu to *Madagascar and back on the same day. That comes to a total of $387.50. How would you like to pay for this today, Miss?

I was absolutely stunned at the total. This was almost double what I paid last time I took this flight.

Sensing the airline employee was having a bad day with all the “sighing” she was experiencing, I said this:

Me: That much, huh? How flexible is the airline on the types of payments they accept?
Airline: Ma’am? Excuse me? sigh…
Me: Would you, or the the airline, be willing to accept something other than Visa, Mastercard and/or American Express?
Airline: Such as? sigh…
Me: Such as chickens.
Airline: Come again?
Me: Would you, or the the airline, be willing to accept chickens (live, fried, baked, sacrificed… whatever) as an alternative form of payment opposed to the usual credit cards you accept? Can I pay you in chickens instead?
Airline: We only accept the aforementioned forms as payment. Not… not chickens. sigh…
Me: What’s wrong with chickens? It worked for Doc Baker in Little House on the Prairie. Why not *Nixon Airlines?
Airline: Ma’am…
Me: Vegan, huh?
Airline: Hold please.

I was then transferred to the manager and he was very efficient in changing a few things around with my reservation and was able to lower my total to something more reasonable.

Some people cannot take a joke. Or is it just vegans?

I’m kidding!! I like bean sprouts as much as the next person, but only if it’s accompanied with steak and a glass of milk.